I got up pretty amped--last night was the last hurrah for any drinking-I had a few glasses of Pinot Grigio with some Sprite--clearly I am no purist. One thing all my years of bartending taught me was to pay attention to the signs you are wasted, hence I haven't made any mistakes to get me in any precarious situations in many many years now. I put myself to bed IMMEDIATELY. There is no cajoling, no waking me up, I am done when I am done. At this point in life my bed is usually very close when I am wasted since we are all largely done with people, it appears.
Yesterday I failed on the yoga because it appears I can complete only one thing a day successfully sometimes. Yesterday being lady day, I was kind of wrapped up in that and some other issues that came up--JFC FEDEX and WAYFAIR, both have failed any customer service success in my attempted interactions with them. The second guy just hung up before offering any solutions once I told him what was going on which is actually hilarious, and though I am the wrong person to mess with on the ...
So I gotta say, for someone not on anxiety medication or taking any other pyschoactive substance I guess aside from marijuana, it does suck to once again know I have a broken heart again. It's the thing I am trying not to let dominate my thoughts, but when I was sitting in bed earlier with my hands falling asleep, I realize I have had that happen a few times over the past few weeks. Then there is the sometimes sharp pain I have felt for a minute I usually coach myself out of terrorizing myself further because it is the wrong time given I have no health insurance in 5 days.
I told the surgeon I wasn't ready to do it now because of insurance, but ultimately I need to get it done so if I can hold off until next Spring...they are doing the next scan in December--so it's either I have 6 months or a year or 16 years to live, maybe. Though you gotta admit the positives to waiting might exceed the negatives, though clearly the valve could get worse and make the replacement even more complicated. All I know is he said it was ...
Man, the country is in a mess right now. I am actually way less stressed than many because of a few compelling factors that do not hurt my feelings at all.
One. I don't have children nor work in the public. Two, I read about this in January so all of the stress and trauma visiting regular Americans right now I have already endured. My continued studies into this issue over the past few months I was almost overly prepared. I bought masks the week I read about it and had them ordered by 1/21/2020. I know, I know, everyone has a fucking opinion on my mask but when most of the world contending with this is asking for them for their citizens, well, you as Americans have some onus to know and be able to discern for yourselves when the information was given. It is a respiratory illness which means it is a breathing illness which of course means that if you simply breathe, you are at risk and with a lot of the population passing it without knowing it, you cannot convince me all of the people touched each other or the same door handle or ...
