something I wrote
I think these ideas people have about positive attitudes are antiquated and somewhat loosely based on ideas born from fairy tales. I think it also has more of a relevance for being stuck in the ideas and mentality that if you do good, good will be done unto you.
For some reason and somehow, it seems almost, at times, to be an irrelevant choice. To be good means that one won’t find themselves in a purgatory imposed by “higher beings” or a self-enclosed hell. To be bad means that one won’t find themselves floating and frolicking carelessly with the angels in their downy white jump suits, eating ice cream endlessly until all the days are done.
I wonder sometimes, though not trying stick my “I believe that bad things happen to good people sticker on” where the incentive is. I suppose in my own haphazard reality, doing ill upon other people has never been such an attractive facet of existence. But to brandish a shiny acid born smile in an instance when no good thoughts are flying through your head seems as much a lie and a “sin” as brandishing a tire iron against someone’s skull.
Ok, enough with extremes. I would like to know what the point of all of this positivity is. I suppose in the commercial with the Angel soft kids that attitudes such as mine would cause the cloud to rip a hole, sending my ass barreling back to the surface, where bouncing would certainly not occur.
I keep hearing all of this a smile a day will keep all the bad away bullshit and the thing that I realize is that we all cuddle these ideas of fairness, or justness in our existence. We have more examples of situations and instances where things don’t make any fucking sense at all that I wonder how and why I am pushed on a consistent basis, to think positive, even though positivity is far away from rearing its head in my line of vision.
I suppose whining and bitching about situations without any attempts to overthrow the negative outcomes certainly are not of any help at all. Being drowned in some subversive version of life is great because I dawn a smile and draw pictures of butter cups while viewing stinking piles of trash is not the answer either. I do think that having a firm grip on reality and that understanding and knowing that you could be the most virtuous, positive un sinning individual in existence, and still get hit and killed by the bookmobile while crossing the street is an important lesson.
As pointed out to me in the discussions of “nature favors chaos” could any sense be made of the routes and lines with which events travel? I think that believing in a scientific capacity of this term and fully understanding its meaning then prevent one from being able to fully realize or envision a world where fairness is just. Just as my overdone, tender ass has always tried to “be the best that I can be” and smile when all the world was shit covered and smelly, I realize that my sacrifices to be rooty tooty fresh and fruity were all in vain. I believed that by thinking positive in an instance where no light was shining, I could squeeze my foot in the door of a self-declared heaven, where things go right for the people who do the right thing. It seems to be more of a game of chance. Some people’s chances of winning are just greater because they happen to be in a place or the right person to win the game.
