oh yes. you see that.
so I logged into that crush thing to see who had/has a crush on me. And that is 6 people. huh. I figured my shit wasn’t too well read, though.
I have been inspired by a book by Fernando Pessoa, The Book of Disquiet. It’s a lovely selection and it’s amazing that people have existed that think that beautifully about life. Living.
He also has this ability to be different people on different occasions, with just a twist of dialogue. I write a lot in my livejournal about shit that is sad, depressing. I lift myself up out of holes quite often, only to two days later strike it out to some depressed episode.
Here I can be my pretty self, the one who inspires crushes. Either that or I can fail miserably. I am a bit too secular to be that interesting. Except my brain. I have been influenced by a number or occurences in my life. Rape, beatings by the upper hands, verbal abuse, physical violence, heart surgery, dailysis, declination of character mind body and hope.
Here I can be just better.
