new realizations…
Ok you guys–I am doing the thing I allowed myself today though I did fuck around on FB for an hour. Not a smart thing to do being so stressed out by the move, but maybe the best thing to do. I need a bit of an escape but I literally have packed just the bathroom so far. The rest has been in just my own mind. But today I do have goals:
Pack the coat closet
Pack the shoe rack up
Get all laundry together for drop off.
I am not so rich as to not do my laundry–this will be my first time dropping it off. The new place has its own set-up so should be easy. But to have someone else do all of it sounds like a luxury worth investing in.
I found an amazing taylor who is fixing a bunch before we move–no sense in moving the broken, I thought. I am going to have her re-line Don’s leather jacket from when he was 17–it would make him so happy I do not care how much it costs.
I think my permanent hermit site is going to be something worth looking at soon–I have my weeks broken down into hearts and scars and the corona and that one–but I am feeling not being around people is probably the best bet for who I feel comfortable embracing about myself. I don’t think you can trust enough of the population to–or at least I don’t, not to have someone try to make a point I do not need made. I want to live a happy life and right now that involves leaving where we are–it could end one of two ways. More reclusive than I am now (I avoid everyone but some of my dog’s friends) or more connected. I actually think it’s going to be more of a combo of both–I have a few people I have been talking to for years that are suddenly closer yet we have never met, and a few I haven’t seen in years because it’s the East coast and nobody has gotten married in a while. I do not think there’s going to be a lot of opportunity to be social with anyone new, which is fine for now as well–I have tons of tips to beat loneliness and need for stimulation , which will be really fun, too. We are going to film out cross country adventure–we got a GOPRO Hero8 so it will be easy to document, and tons of space to do so.
Okay so I need a freakin designer to help me get this shit all together I swear, but for now it will be me so that means a lot of winging it to start.
Here’s a recent photo-true to my word, no editing, though I might mess with the curve and color one day, no direct editing. I took it ten minutes ago with my laptop. I know, it’s awful quality but whatever. I cannot find the stupid powercord to the ipad, it is ridiculous. I think I am going to upload some scar photos–better than this one
But right now, off to do the stuff. I am going to put on the xbox headphones and listen to some Gaia meditation or whatever since that’s the only app we subscribe to aside from HBO. Wish me well because this fucking sucks.
