my evil rant for the week
i really do find it difficult to be positive when i have 15 mile-high burred walls to climb before i can actually do anything with my life. it does have the ability to make me laugh, that a few people close to me currently, and even formerly, have a total ball laughing at my misfortune; both in my face, and presumably behind my back. and honestly, i laughed first so it cannot possibly be that satisfying to relish your position in the universe as so warranted, and even wanted.
how lame is it that the odds are lamely stacked against me? how much lamer is it that it pisses me off?
i am so tired of whining, and crying and being morose about something that so completely defies explanation that it should completely murder and assassinate all of my expectations.
they tell you when you’re a kid that you can be anything, and do anything you want if you work hard enough. they forgot that little addendum and the statement should read more clearly and explicitly “you can be whatever you want if you work hard enough and have the fortune of never being sick and if you never have to worry about health insurance. if you do get sick, you can be and do whatever you want if you are independently wealthy. you can be and do whatever you want if you are young and frisky enough to be considered “fresh, and new” because you are malleable, and have the energy to be molded into whatever form the university decides because you are the future; you are young and clean and virginal to the ideas of education. you can be and do whatever you want if the cards fly just right and lie in neat little piles. if for some reason the cards fly out of order and your life gets a little messy, your personal appeal as a prospective student doesn’t lie in inherent talent (because you are older, and definitely haven’t endured the discipline that secondary education offers), but rather in the size of your bank account. if your bank account is invisible, or empty, you better find a way to fill it up because you aren’t doing shit until you can pay it up.
and remember; if it hits the fan and the “you can be and do whatever you want” master plan fails, take on a series of jobs that will ALWAYS leave your miserable. also make sure you date the completely dispassionate who can say to you “don’t worry, (your name here), no one likes what they do”. to further enunciate this point, make sure that the person has all manner of friends and relatives around him that are doing exactly what they want so that you can tell him to shove it up his ass, because he read it somewhere and doesn’t really know what the fuck he is saying. also remember that if that plan fails that EVERYONE will go out of their way to tell you that it really is ok that any prospective degree (‘cuz it’s just the flaccid part of the plan) won’t really be completed until you near 40 when your life span isn’t supposed to be many decades beyond that. please remember that the plan doesn’t really apply to the entirety, but really just a small minority of people who were born to win.
also remember that it really is ok to complain about it a little because you never really let it all out like this.
but don’t ever cry about it. because crying is just a waste of time, and an excretion of much needed hydration.
