life as you “NO” it
It’s been really hard for me to pick what to write about, what to express lately. It’s not that I am without words, it’s just that prioritizing them into any kind of format has been incredibly hard, and almost impossible to begin.
I have also been looking at my writing as a kind of art form. I am not saying this because I am trying to establish more value to it, but because I have started researching more into editing.
I have never been much of an editor. I used to pride myself on my ability to just spit it out without any regard to form or function. As a result, I have more of a free-flowing form of speech without much regard to any rules, be it towards grammar, or towards basic story composition. I don’t think there should be any steadfast rules towards these things, but because I have considered trying to utilize my talents towards copy-editing, my mind has been inundated with these things. I am sure that this has affected my desire to spit it out, because I didn’t want to judge myself technically.
Today I decided binge and purge regardless of what the rules were. This requires a bit of innovation since I have been writing this since 8:40 and it is now 3 hours later. I find it difficult to manage writing when I get home because at that point I am too tired and too used to my keyboard here.
Yesterday I found myself sitting in a room full of girls who were unlike me in many ways, telling them my story red-faced and out-of-breath, explaining why it was I wanted to get involved with community service. As I watched the envelope coming towards me, I realized it would be my turn, and figured I would be very concise and succinct in what I was saying. The idea that hindsight is 20/20 wouldn’t normally apply to that situation because I did have the time to think about it. But when the envelope did come to me, I faltered because my voice is still hoarse and lame, and I am getting over a cold. To not be heard, as I have felt much of my life, and then to literally not be heard when you have an audience and something to say is one of the most frustrating aspects of my life. Granted, I spend a great majority of my day avoiding talking to people not directly involved in my business because of this, but I am fairly sure I have cemented my reputation as quiet and hoarse-voiced girl because of my vocal chord paralysis.
I do need to post this puppy now, though. It is 6 hours since I started to try to get something out there.
Hopefully I will have some energy to do more later. The title can be better explained with a better attention span later as well.
Because you are having trouble with your physical voice is WHY your writing is SO important and valuable. Even on your pretty face, it is blatantly obvious you have so much to say and could probably talk immensely interesting circles around most people.
No one thinks anything of you in that new circle of aquaintances except that Tara asked you to come because she thought you would be an asset to the group, you must in fact, be a fantastic writer because you have such a fan, and that there is some interesting life and life story behind your reasons for wanting to “give back” in charitable form.
It was such a pleasure to meet you in person. It was right up there with meeting Sophie B. 😉 I don’t go to Brooklyn for just anyone you know. Haha. Glad to see an entry here….
😉
ha..you’ll get more.
thanks for the invite, again.
i’m not sure about wednesday…I promised someone I would see a short film..but I could be there a bit later if you guys are still out.
I’ll get back to you on that soon.
Re: 😉
That’s ok about this wednesday…I can’t come myself. As dorky as it sounds, I’m part of my town’s Newcomers & Neighbors Group and they’re having a “Ladies Night” event. I promised a girl in town that I met when she came into my store….that I would go so she wouldn’t have to go alone…and I thought maybe I could meet some more women in town…
But, I will be at whatever meeting is after that…
So, don’t feel bad if you can’t go. Like Amy said- the level of commitment is up to you…I’m sure they’d be thrilled to have you without me there to monopolize your time- then Amy can con you into being super-involved…lol. She’s good like that.
What kind of community service are you doing?
the W girls
It’s a group of women in NY who originally started as a social network, who also do community work outside of the circle.
They usually set up benefits and donate the proceeds to given charities of choice. They are trying to do about 4 per year.
I have to check with Tara on the site (she spoke above and invited me to the group), but you can find them here:
http://www.myspace.com/wgirlsnyc
I am definitely the punk rock addition, but expanding one’s horizons requires opening your mind up.
Re: the W girls
Francis, that sounds awesome. Woo! 🙂
I am proud of and excited for you.
XOXO
Hope you are well. I miss you a lot. And Eddie. And Asa. And the Fetus.
Come rescue me. 😉
Love to you…
This is our group. Feel free to check it out. 🙂
http://www.wgirlsnyc.com/AboutUs.html