everything is bizarree
Ok, so my voice is getting there. GETTING there anyways.
My brain is infiltrated with film studies and reviews I cannot quite bend my mind around to avoid obsessing over.
I have many political opinions as of late but I have no energy to incite riots and have selected only the special few to participate in.
I still feel like an obese cow, but E is harassing me to eat like a bastich at this very moment in time (I have been on the lam from 8:45 am to 11 pm tonight).
I have been missing special members of my former posse, but then I realized I was mad enough that if they were dead, I wouldn’t bother attending any memorials since they sucked as friends anyways. That sounds harsh but I was never much in to the fakery of funerals where people who didn’t even like you (let alone know you) showed up to garnish fake sympathy for their wretched plight.
Work is work. I wish there was more to say–apparently I might make $26 k this year. Thanks so much, SW, for pretending you have no money.
School is better. I get to do many fancy things with my too expensive education. Namely, film premiers and showings at museums and the Lincoln center I attend for free or for $6. And then there are the art openings. It’s funny, but I do love my snooty ivy league education for that.
I still have yet to be able to feel any connection with any of my professors or other students. I think it might be my voice, but I also think there is some elevated plain that the professors have themselves levitated up to, and the students are just rich douchebags. When I have tried to respond to professors or incite my own discussion, it is just weird. There is no other description, but I am definitely the weird smelly girl nobody likes (I am not smelly, but you all know what girl I am).
E is annoying the crap out of me right now. I have to go eat, apparently. I will have incriminating pictures of him tomorrow dressed like a scary puppet for a fashion show we both got roped into modeling for. hHhahahahahahaha.
Francis,
I love you and I am glad that you opted to incite riots in my el-jay. The riots are fun when you show up.
As for this:
still have yet to be able to feel any connection with any of my professors or other students. I think it might be my voice, but I also think there is some elevated plain that the professors have themselves levitated up to, and the students are just rich douchebags. When I have tried to respond to professors or incite my own discussion, it is just FUCKING weird.
I am that same girl within my program. I chalk it up to the jealousy and insecurity of those around me. You are a fabulous rockstar; fuck everybody who doesn’t get it.
XOXO
thanks francis.
It makes me feel weird. It’s like being a little kid at an “adult” party even though I find I am around the same age (if not older) than some of the people I am talking to.
I hate it–but that’s the way it goes I guess.
PS: Did you get your paper done last night?
The paper is good. I’m getting better every time. This one’s like, Go Granny D!”
But I am trying to be innocent and fun. It’s my best frame of mind to be in.