Day 1-A Start, Maybe

I feel like I might need to mark this day because I am hoping it will arc into a longer and larger trend. But last night was the first night we didn’t drink ourselves drunk in some time. With a declared intention and perhaps even the temptation of wine, we didn’t do it, and fell asleep naturally, sans alcoholic intervention. I’ve mentioned this in passing on occasion, but the both of us have turned into alcoholics, hence it’s not hard to draw the line to say things like, we are both waiting to die, which I wrote a few posts ago.

I realize it’s kind of probably disappointing for some people, thinking they are going to come here and read some inspirational, she never life get her down bullshit, but I am not superhuman, nor do I want to be–the strength I muster to continue on seems sufficient enough for me sometimes, despite or in spite of all of the bullshit with opportunity, cash deficiencies and yes, even bad decisions I made which have left me in the place I am in. One thing I can say is I never give up, or not for long, as I am always developing and inventing and coming up with ideas to get myself out of the position I am in. One of them one day MAY even work, haha.

Maybe because we weren’t drunk we ended up watching some stuff we found on youtube about sweepstakes winners and people who just enter contests endlessly. And win, as some of them apparently seem to do this as a full time job. Advertisers have somehow put way more money into promotions than they even do to advertising, so there is money and there are prizes to pilfer. Don came up with this idea somehow and I don’t recall exactly why he started talking about it, but it does seem like it would be a worthy cause for someone with endless time who didn’t mind buying useless stuff with no guarantee of a return–though some of them do seem to do it with a continuous line of return somehow. It’s an idea, and something I could ALMOST see us doing as old people, because I have no useful old people customs or habits or anything we would be bringing with us through the years which would seem odd or strange. We don’t collect anything (well, I did, but no), we don’t have any strange games or, like I said, customs or habits we have that are unique to us, so I think we might have to develop some weird ones. bingo, sure, I would do it, and I dunno–I suppose this IS one of those only time will tell circumstances.

One other benefit (we hope) of the alcohol free start is we have a recording studio, basically, in the bedroom. We’ve got guitars, keyboards, a dulcimer, a mandolin, samplers, guitar pedals, microphones (one for each) and a drum machine and all the software we need to make music and immortalize my stupid songs forever. Don and I both have stupid things we sing–for years when I lived in NY Kristen and I would have dance parties every morning and I would make up stupid songs about everything from washing dishes to having sex and do my little dances all over. I know, I’ve promised before to share more media but this is DEFINITELY happening soon. We’ve also discussed doing a podcast, mostly because I think Don is hilarious and one of the smartest philosophers about how the world is and I think a lot of people would find his words and our ideas incredibly relevant. But that…that comes after we mess around a bit. I feel like most of our best moments happen to be when we are waking up in the morning–minds fresh and ready to chew up whatever issue either one of us brings up. Most ESPECIALLY given the current election…

If any of you have returned here more than once over the past week you’d see an incredible lift in my own production and output. This is a DIRECT result of shunning all social media that took so much of my time in sharing and educating–I read recently many people have Facebook as their main source of news and I had literally 3 people tell me I was their ONLY source of news (imagine that, right?)–not being facetious on my own account, but there is a whole world of news you can check and compare and fact check without me chewing it up for everyone. And most of the stories I would share were out of direct concern for the world at large–I would have different viewpoints on stuff simply because I give a shit about the world and the people in it…but now, now I feel I need to be a little more introspective and work on writing again and making my jewerly and creating my art and making my tshirts….I have a whole workshop worth of stuff in the attic and I am way closer having the shit in my head be a reality because I have shut down all the lines of communication between me and almost everyone…save Miss PNP of BME fame (thank you, Amy), who has been texting me a few times a week since I got the phone after I cried about nobody calling me.

I just wonder…man I have had this website for how many years now? This site maybe what, 10 years though there’s pieces of 16 years worth of blogs–but, who ARE you, readers? Are you just plugging in interesting websites or did you find me through seeing a postcard I put out, or do you have heart problems, or did I just date you or are you my relative or are you–see? I have no idea about my readership AT ALL..not a clue. I am just secretly satisfied I bought the website and scarsandhearts because it’s just–it’s clever for a branding obsessed lady such as myself….but if you are so inclined, leave me a little hey, tell me something interesting, make me laugh, dammit, and I promise I will show you more.

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