closer and closer to a conclusion
I started realizing some of the hypocrisy of my own soul, some ideas and ideals I project to bitch about yet talk about and give fuel to all too much. These ideas being money and the ability truly to buy solutions, which truly is a power I have not tried to gain or use in some years. I know what the damn solutions are. Keep in mind I have owned at least 12 websites in my life for all manner of ideas–but have I had the discipline to complete this, or any ideas, really? Apparently not. I really have to stop my excuses.
I have a solution solving March’s student loan payment, a period of 3 paychecks this month which happens a few times a year and will help off-set that. Giving me now approximately 6 weeks to get the money together for the next month.
This has allowed me to breathe, and with recent incidents and numbness in my arm, well, shit, iut has made figuring this out a lot more achievable as it just takes some effort and wretched discipline to glean the information one would need to solve this problem.
With that being said, I realize I have polluted a lot of my communication with people discussing my own debts, me realizing that burden is the heaviest and all the rest of the accompanying issues of the heart problem and dissections, fucking secondary. At this point the dissections are a matter of fact and no principle is worth arguing there. I do not do any specialized diet or exercise. I walk my damn dog and have sex–recently 3-5 times a week but it has been daily in large spans as well. I am not on disability. I do not have a therapist right now nor have I found any who helped at all (but I can say I did it a few times at least haha). But money, the money one would need to feel like they were not waiting to get ambushed and drained clean, that kind of money I have not solved the issues to as of yet, and I am sick of it, and the only real solution is nationalized healthcare, something we will likely never see. So I have to be 1000% more successful than the average American to feel peace, because I have it all to lose.
At least 6 great ideas I have had could make money. All I need or really want are 3. Ra ra raaaa. Sick of it. Fix it up universe, help me do it.
And did this keep an attention span. Raise your hands if you give up after 500 words because I am betting most of you do.
