character flaws and bada ba
Sooooo….Yeah yeah I am still getting some shit done. Don has to upgrade my computer to be able to host anything to the point of at least being able to edit any videos. Who knew? The best part is now I do have a deadline enforced by another, 6 weeks from yesterday to get the work room set up into a studio space for videos of me talking about heart surgery crap–the procedures, the depression, the expectations. The ways we sometimes fail ourselves in our efforts to heal and communicate with those around us. The things I worry about, stupid and not so much.
I am trying to figure out if I should separate out the beauty stuff from the rest of the situation but then there are the other projects I want to do, a kind of community resources of sorts–I have some really really great ideas on that but then I would have to kill you so let’s see what I can forge there. Between that and my online mortuary ideas someone should give me some fucking money already. I should have an online empire I have had sooo many really fucking great ideas honestly. But clearly my discipline to process is lacking. I have the ideas but no follow through in some because they would require an engineer or programmer for many of them. But at this point I am getting desperate. I keep telling Don I need another full time job to catch up with everyone and everything after me. What I need is actually 3.
I need to move downtown–like downtown where the people are downtown though it is comparatively a sad downtown unless a celebrity is in town or football is happening. That’s 25% more than what we are paying, at least $2k-$2500 a month which is not something we should afford even if we could without several backup revenue streams. But I want to die happy. So leaving the country would probably be the best option there. There’s my am diddy for you toodles. I am all over the place with all of that. I want to travel. I need to make money to survive and pay for my health shit and half education and future home, one would hope. Limited time, less than 10 to live my life is more likely than not. That’s a whole stress I don’t need I am sure, either.
