apples, spot, and the two deliquents
Sometimes you walk away from a situation with less energy, and more drain slipping down. For me today, the inspiration to fully take advantage of a day off is almost a joke; I got the speech yesterday about my inability to really get excited and remain focused on my job. While selling gym memberships is so very exciting, it really isn’t too much of a kick in the pants to really catapult or inspire one to push oneself that much harder.
I did try to explain it away to being tired, needing a vacation or bla bla bla, but it doesn’t really matter anyway. When the capacity for understanding you is limited to just making sure that you are a profitable member of the team, it just makes it all very dry.
Last night I spent a good deal of time not dealing with anything. Today will be a bit harder as a result.
Tonight there’s some thing at some bar not too far from 10th and 3rd..something where the writing is the focus and the effort to read in public might be appreciated. Most of the time I keep my shit to myself; my writing anyhow. I have pages and pages of misdirected love prose…Though I do have to thank my lucky stars that the most impressive influence to my writing was that crazy lady Sylvia Plath. My rhythm is my own, similar to the way that I can hear my own heart click..like a kaboom on a tin can. It’s hard to emulate, or maybe I am full of shit.
Either way, my eyes are a bit green so the shit might have started to ferment.
Regardless, all that matters now is the master plan to get out.
