I need to stop working this 9-5er
I have come to these conclusions that I repeatedly visit throughout life, a subterfuge of emotions that empower me for a time, then crash back into my face, no love lost.
Today I had plans with a few different people, but I really feel like being inside myself today. The usual distractions are gone, and I just need to take care of business. The screenplay I plan on working on at 5 and not stopping until midnight. I’m gonna take the dog into the city and get the keys to open up the gym tomorrow, which should be nice and stress-less. Then I come back and paint the crap out of something. I am angry today, but it’s that latent kind of energy that fuels the fire instead of sucking you inside. Oh and the summer, I see it taking down my friends left and right. I guess prophetic love has the ability to do that, even if it isn’t grounded into fastness.
Colorfast. I always want to remain true to myself, my inner demons, monsters and angels. It has rarely occurred that anyone has the ability to even fuck with that stuff, and when I have, I somehow end up getting carried away in the motions. It’s not a mistake I am ready to make at this point in the path, and I really need to keep my path uncluttered with emotional insecurities, actions and reactions. I am gonna shoot them all down to watch them crash with a deafening thud.
So I really do need to quit this and write some more, and get involved in either the artist’s unions or the writer’s unions. I think this is the assured way to make a living and not have to worry about my heart exploding out of my chest because of some kind of neglect.
Today’s rain should be a welcome washing of the baloney. It started running down the door and I don’t have time to deal with it.
