when the clubs you’re in don’t even like you

Published April 8th, 2022 in 2022, hearts | No Comments ยป

I got up pretty amped–last night was the last hurrah for any drinking-I had a few glasses of Pinot Grigio with some Sprite–clearly I am no purist. One thing all my years of bartending taught me was to pay attention to the signs you are wasted, hence I haven’t made any mistakes to get me in any precarious situations in many many years now. I put myself to bed IMMEDIATELY. There is no cajoling, no waking me up, I am done when I am done. At this point in life my bed is usually very close when I am wasted since we are all largely done with people, it appears.

Yesterday I failed on the yoga because it appears I can complete only one thing a day successfully sometimes. Yesterday being lady day, I was kind of wrapped up in that and some other issues that came up–JFC FEDEX and WAYFAIR, both have failed any customer service success in my attempted interactions with them. The second guy just hung up before offering any solutions once I told him what was going on which is actually hilarious, and though I am the wrong person to mess with on the phone generally, I’m chalking it up to American asshole societal fatigue, where most of our interactions are governed by dickheads. It just took some patience and I figured it out but this whole self-automated uncomprehending AIs that many companies have are really failing. Anyways–I figured that out and my private tantrums took enough out of me to fail at both yoga and cookie making, as I am trying not to buy any pre-packaged sweets or ice cream. I will make the exception for those Safeway creampuffs, I swear I will show you a photo next time, BUT yeah, I failed at doing more than a few things yesterday. Today will be yoga, establish a strict supplement schedule (your body steals a lot of healing power from your teeth and I would assume possibly brain, too). I am prepping with supplements pre-surgery as well.

My INR was a 3, which is perfect as it had not been checked since December. Looks like she might know what she is doing after all.

Okay–so I do have two at home coumadin monitors so I have the tools to check things–I’ve been curious if turmeric thins, if garbanzo beans thin, if a few things either make it thinner, OR thicker, so I will be revealing that as soon as the new strips come in. They kicked me out because I am highly irresponsible for most things that require more than a few pills every day apparently. I take right now: metoprolol 100 mg olmesartan 20 mg coumadin of 5 3x and 6 4x a week. I take hair vitamins every day:

Best Hair Vitamins

Now I have thin fine hair generally, it’s not thick, but I have been losing a hell of a lot less since I’ve been using those vitamins, and my hair dresser did comment on my hair’s growth the last few times. I’ve been taking it about a year and it has made a difference. The other thing-this shampoo is the best you have ever used. I know, you’re a Suave girl or some other natural brand because you want to save the rainforests and don’t mind looking like you live in one, BUT this shampoo is the best shit I have ever used and shit I am using for emphasis on how great it is. I am going to be bleaching my own hair because we’re pretty broke so that’s that, and I have this shampoo, conditioner and hair oil set to help correct anything that may be over-processed but I am telling you this is the best stuff I have ever used. I have used every brand probably in existence, no joke–but this, because the price point is absurd. Paying $50 for shampoo is an absurd thing in an absurd world, but there’s a difference in whatever is in there that makes it magical.


Best Shampoo
Best Conditioner
Magical Hair Oil

So that’s a direct nobody-paid-me-to-do-it-first endorsement because it’s something I found on my own through someone else’s affiliate link, I am sure of it. I also have a travel kit with some other blowout sprays that seem to do a stellar job I am not excited to buy a full size version of, but I will do that and let you know.

Okay, back to the title: I swear EVERY group I am included in within any context of being a group member always makes me lament joining the group at some point, or many points in my group membership. I got unposted on an aortic valve replacement group, or AVR group. I think I know the reasons but once again let’s discuss together–I am not a Doctor. I do not believe in extremes with behavior aside from don’t blow lines or do hard drugs especially after dissection, but I definitely have had some drinks and smoked a few or more random cigarettes over the years. At this point people may see me trying all this stuff as self-experimentation, but there’s a lot you need to prepare for surgery generally. BTW-my husband’s mother bought me a recliner, so that got solved. I might get some acupuncture before–but beyond that I plan on some level of PEMF therapy, yoga every day (btw the last TEVAR I had was cake bc of my practice at the time), no smoking anything, no drinking alcohol, increased water intake (this sucks because my bladder is somewhat hyperactive) blueberries every day, walnuts every day, possibly Ka-Chava most days if I can afford it. Banana every day in some form-the supplements. My new gyno offered me a pamphlet on Estroven That is what her patients who cannot take HRT therapy are using largely. I will send it to my cardiologist and see what he says.

The MSM is something that seems to need some consistency to enjoy protection from pain I have found as my shoulder, which I jacked doing my second day of yoga out of a 30 day series a few weeks ago, is hurting again. We haven’t gone more than a few days consuming it on the right schedule so it’s not encouraging. Yes, that PEMF mat, but my husband thinks the mat idea is ridiculous–he doesn’t believe in any of it, he actually states often he is a nihilist who believes in nothing--which I get, but I told him he will use it and we will see who gets proven on that because I found some literature on it curing some shoulder and knee issues or alleviating them extremely so it might be a magical cure for him. My goal of course is to not have to have a pacemaker installed so I am going to make sure I get a little help in there pre-surgery to ensure the heart is happy. I do wear an Apple Watch so I can share some data points pre and post PEMF, but the ultimate tester will be King Nihilist, because he won’t do anything continuously without proof-but he won’t deny feeling better when he does–even though I swear to you, he sometimes drives me insane with his limited perspectives I’ll elaborate on later I am sure. I did get him to agree to the MSM because of its purported cancer-killing properties but we didn’t do any yesterday because we left so early for lady day. He’s still bitching about it of course-it doesn’t taste good but he’s acting like it’s more sour than it is which is probably a symptom I don’t want to think about. [UPDATE-the mat will be here by 7pm tomorrow 4/9/2022]!!!

Friday’s Goals: Affiliate marketing-I need a book I will buy today. Try yoga again. Establish firm medicine/supplement schedule. Hair bleach. Ugh I really do not want to do an instagram on this-I am not sure I should, maybe I’ll just keep my days in snippets on YouTube or tiktok-ugh. I don’t want to join the open world of bullying and harassment but I guess the rules there are: don’t read the comments & of course, don’t read the comments. Maybe ughhhh. I have no idea. I’ll have a few things filmed by the end of the weekend, I am sure of it. I am not going to be able to work anytime soon so I need to make some money–I will never see myself as an influencer, just someone who has gone through some crap who might have some good ideas on healing and survival who truly wants to help people in every way she can. It’s my general MO, if I come into your life, I try to be a good influence and do all I can to encourage new thoughts, ideas, money streams or laughter at the very least. At this point I’ll do it in the best ways I can. I have never put advertising on this site as a rule, but I might change that to include a banner ad or two but absolutely nothing like the hot messes the current websites you frequent leave your experience in.


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