routine shmoutine
Man I have found it difficult to be a better person on my own. Self-discipline isn’t one of my strong suits, hence I haven’t been able to force much change on my own. I am not entirely stubborn, I am just someone who has learned the joys of doing whatever the fuck I want at any given time. I mean that in its entirety and within reason. Though some of you might not find it entirely agreeable or reasonable to just pick up and leave the place I am as many times as I have done, I consider it a strong suit and one of my better qualities, the ability to adapt almost effortlessly, though maybe that’s something I had when I was a bit younger than I am now. Right now I am suffering from a get off my lawn hatred of the world, you know that kind of irrational hate everyone who gets in your spaceness that I think can happen to everyone at points. I really do have a serious disgust with much of humanity as a general statement, but that’s because I feel a lot of people aren’t getting it at all.
In any case, back to the point at hand. My daily routine. Today I forced myself to get out of bed before 9. I know, the luxury right? Thought when I was working it was 9 I started, working from home made that easy to achieve. I did a bunch of stretches, I tried to do a sit up from a laying position just to test out the function of my core strength, or really lack of, and I contemplated what the heck today was going to be for me. Yesterday I did make the decision that my practices for the things I want to do every single day. I think I am still getting over the kind of wow that comes with realizing I can do whatever I want any day of the week, but I realize that even that kind of freedom needs structure.
So, the Duke got his walk–and I got my coffee and I fixed my spotify so that I could get the music vs the visual media that seems to often distract me from my general goals to achieve. And here I sit contemplating the start of new habits and what it’s going to take to get me there. Holding myself accountable clearly means I am the only one benefiting or suffering, or even knowing what the hell I am doing daily. I did some research yesterday–when I worked in gyms we would tell people 28 days to start a new habit, which is actually not true according to the research I uncovered–66 days and as long as 254 for some people to really ingrain that new habit into things. I am sure it’s going to take me some fits and starts to get there, hell I can’t even be consistent in taking photos anymore. But if I try to start somewhere, I might get there eventually.
These are my current goals I have imagined for myself over the past week ruminating on this routine-ness of the thing. Some of them I am sure will seem ridiculous to those of you who are super organized and purposeful–that is not me. I am just an accident of chance, circumstance and medical happenstance to be where I am at this point of my path or branch.
1) Wake up every day at JFC, I cannot decide because half the time I am up 4, the other half I am up after 9 because I stay up messing around on my phone generally only during these twilight hours of no sleep and force myself to pass out after a bit. Apparently according to my google phone informer, I am spending roughly one hour and 7 minutes plastered to the screen every day which I am sure is far far under what most people’s consumption is, but also allows me to realize that there is no fucking excuse for not being able to find the time to do the things I really do like to do.
So again, distraction queen. Let’s try 6 am. It’s a compromise between 4 and 9 and will allow me to still feel human. 6 am the wake up call. Then stretch. Then coffee. Then, time to write. One thing I have done over the past few months is I get online in the morning to my favorite right wing paper and kind of debate with little commentary here and there. It kind of satisfies my need to pass off my commentary (I never ever see any comments like my own, hence someone has to make them), and gives me a thwarted connection with the world around me. Thwarted in that I am a hidden figure online and nobody knows my username, and because I never talk to people directly but it is something. SO. WRITING my book and story vs as, Don says, making old people feel bad for voting like shit…it is. Right now it is 9:20 and I have been at this for a bit. But today I started later.
So.
1) Wake up stretch. Walk the dog on his big loop will be added in there.
2) Write. How long to write? Clearly I have a lot to say, but I am unsure how long the successful take to hone their crafts daily. 2-3 hours doing that.
3) Workout. I really despise working out, so I have adjusted my life to accommodate a pretty minimal calorie diet so I don’t gain weight because who the hell likes that? I mean, yes, I know some of you loveee working out but I have never been someone partial to suffering physically because I already know my body has limitations and no, physical gymnastics are not as easy to admire as mental workouts.
4) Clean a bit, eat somewhere in there.
5) Art in the prime of the afternoon. 1-4/4:30 This seems to be art peak hour for me lately but I need some more practice to feel out my own style which just involves painting and printing and painting and printing.
6) Duke walk, big loop. Poor Duke is 8 and getting a lot more crickety. Definitely is favoring and probably needs nails clipped but needs more exercise for sure.
7) Jewelry or art again…working with your hands is a sure way to honing your mind.
8) Food and reading.
Now the actual accomplishment of this is certainly suspect, but starting somewhere and then honing this crap down is a better option than leaving it up to my whims daily. Structure and discipline are a far better use of time than floating and feeling. Not to say there won’t be times when I say fuck that, I am reading today or sitting on my ass bleeding to death, whatever. But starting somewhere is better than looking back in several years and saying, you really should have started there.
So later on today I will report back about my progress on said list. Then we get to start again tomorrow with some tweaks. JFC INSTAGRAM. I wish I was more comfortable with my own self physical reflection but I am just not. In the midst of this whole thing I will be having to do that and actually sharing the vlogs. Yeah yeah. I promised this shit for years but oh well. Gotta start and actually start somewhere and now that I have all the time in the world. Yeah….
Today so far. Woke up. Walked the dog. Drank coffee. Wrote a tiny bit. Ate a hardboiled egg, now onto greek yogurt, 1/2 C blueberries, dried cherries, walnuts, chia seeds, hemp seeds.
Next. Shower. I am bleeding to death right now. Then? Copywriting class. I forgot that in the midst of my list of dreamy fun shit to do. I know, I have to plan a workout somewhere in there but ugh. No more useless tv is all I know. I think I have watched almost every tv show I can get behind at this point. Time to let NETFLIX Amazon and Hulu refresh for a bit.
That’s the extent of my live report this morning. Also today I have to make Don some more food to mail. Yesterday I made him potato leek soup sitting in the freezer. Today will be red lentil walnut chili and zucchini muffins. Then I have to make him a lasagna, some asian influenced something and maybe some other instant pot fun. I am still entertaining whether or not I should go to this Voice Over class tonight. I almost almost signed up for it but it’s 20 miles away and will take close to 2 hours to get there and you know what? I hate driving just that much but I will let you know tomorrow.
xoxo kitties
