skidding into a new one
Hey so I know I have been missing for some time. You all probably thought I offed myself, maybe found peace with my misery, maybe found some relief from the poverty affected by some of my own decisions and others that were handed down in the way things can be when you have no choice in the matter at all.
I have so many things, so many stories and ideas wound up in this head of mine and I have realized how much time I have literally wasted–how much time I have spent perusing the icons of meaningless bullshit, popped through newstories featuring the most despicable among us—got totally wrapped up in the hate that drives this place and I guess in some ways also drives me. I cannot stand the hate that has been driving American politics as it is largely paralyzing. I have spent so many nights, struck conscious and expectant at 3:30 am…reading through the stories and commentary–it’s like seeing into the soul of America sometimes…and when you look at all, you realize the soul is a black, wretched, and withered thing. It makes you want to run the fuck away from it all…and I work in travel now and do wish I had been a little sharper on recognizing how draining all of this would be to my general person. Never again will I stick around this long without an escape in an election year…
This brings me back to why I am here…I need to finish some things, claw some stories from my skull before I forget those, too. So many small pieces, details of things are scratched into the “it happened, I forgot” corners of my brain. Now that I figured out how to login and save it on my new computer I will be whispering my thoughts in your ears and faces with a new vigor and frequency. I know you’re excited….just wait for it…oh oh oh—and I got a new cell phone number after not having one for almost two years…perspectives on that later. For now. I am back…and it’s all alright. <3
