wherever the weather’s better
SOmetimes I think this happens to a lot of people, and other times I think I am a massive freak. Lately I have been very uncomfortable in my own skin, wanting to shed it, become someone else. This is probably why I have considered going from platinum almost clear blonde to darker shades with super blonde ends. I guess it’s normal. For me, changing my hair color on a monthly basis never seemed to be enough, and this blonde I have rocked for like a year and some. I just feel sick of seeing my writing, sick of my opinions, sick of my perspective, sick of my existence.
I guess things have been going ok. I didn’t get let go from this gym because the other moron I worked with got fired instead of me. It’s better anyways, since I have my future somewhat mapped out. I am gonna quit this bitch in March, right after I get my health insurance. Is it in time to go bartend for Spring break and all the other nasty shit that goes on in the south part of this country? Am I making a mistake by not taking advantage of my last possible winter to go away and not pay rent in Jersey? Eh. If I had a place with heat I could sublet it out for a few months. Shit, I just scratched myself getting overly zealous with my attempts to make the training director laugh with a picture of one of the guys who signed up complete with rippling muscles and a porno name rhyming with dick hards.
I wonder if anyone even reads the bullshit that spews forth on my page. I got some emails from people who voyeured to Kelley’s page but never wrote anything. I refuse to have trackers because I think they are invasive, and I really wouldn’t care if one person looked at it a week. Or whatever. Maybe it’s really that I want to feel justified feeling sorry for myself lately that I write garbage.
I need a freakin vacation. That’s all I know.
