jealousy woke me up at 1:00 am saying
“guess what I just did?”
What? I asked.
“I just played piano for Chantal (the singer of Morningwood) and Mick Jagger at this bar in Boston”. They were singing Ella Fitzgerald and some other stuff my tired mind could not recall. Nice. He went to Juliard so that’s nice. I don’t even think I spelled it right. But yeah, I’m jealous. All the celebrity contact I get is rescheduling Joan Jett’s facials yesterday…ha ha! Those who know me know I don’t get off on celebrity shit. But I also hate missing out, being the missing puzzle piece, the person on the other end of the phone as the voices in the background ask, “what’s up what are you doing?”. I mean, yeah, it’s nice to be remembered. But I feel badly. Yeah I hate my job and wish I had one so full of mischief and fun.
But no, I walked out of work tonight half in tears. Then I had to listen to a screaming child all of the way home. I was a half an hour late. I took my last one dollar bill out of my purse and bought a cannoli (something I could not afford lately). If redbull came in the mail I would call in sick.
But it didn’t. I work tonight until 4. Wake up at 8, work until midnight, sleep, work at ten again.
Thank god for my weekend. And this laptop my boy left me to vent on. It’s not even so much that I care if anyone else cares, but its my screaming voice.
my period is a many-elbowed thing
poking me repeatedly
as that little kid screams
if i was something tonight i would be a blanket.
but instead it is my one “drinking night” a week. granted I have one drink, but because I rarely go out it’s like social hour even though I am the bartender. the drink slinger. vodka shooter.
bah bahhh black sheep.
watch me sink
I’m in deep.
’tis good to see you writing here again no matter the subject!
Although I too could feel the jealousy rising, I can also see the beautiful excitement that he couldn’t wait to share with his beloved girl. And I believe there could be more times ahead for you to share in the playtime. But just imagining how it must have been is also a beautiful daydream to me.
Your “…I would be a blanket” is most lovely — so peaceful and snug and warm. I would love to cuddle with you there. It certainly hasn’t been warm here with negative degree lows and single digit highs!! Bah! I hope you can find time to recharge and go back out there and friskify the world with fun and frivolity!!!
Love to you,
Babs
P.S. would a pair of headphones or earplugs help with the noise pollution?
Baby
First off, there is NO reason to be jealous. I was probably more upset that you weren’t with me than you were about not being there. You hate you job, we all know that. you hate all your jobs 🙂 that will change in time.
Remember, I have worked my ass off for 7 years at this shit, and I deserve to have some highs once in a while, and i wish i could be more financially stable at this moment so i could have you there for all of them. But you truly are the biggest star in my life… but since i see you every day i don’t phone a friend about it. lol
Love love love to you. Come home and hug me. i have been up for 36 hours and need one bad.
Eddie