if only you knew
funny… when you think about writing all of the time. but when you have time to write you don’t have the energy to write. anything. i think the air in my apartment is sick, er, or full of things to cause illness. tired. i get home and want to sleep. like now. but i made myself sit down, write a few things…
though i am sure this is redundant to those who know me best: my job sucks. actually it sucks the life and energy right out of my bones. i work for a company where i sell incredibly expensive services that i have to pretend i have sampled. when the company i work for does not give even an iota of a discount. not ten percent. not five percent. no percent. and i was thinking. what kind of company has each employee making it literally thousands of dollars each and every day. and doesn’t let them sample the goods, instead teaching them to be like great actors. i make 12 bucks an hour. and with my benefits, which i have no complaints about: I take home $335 a week. In new york city. it’s true. and every wednesday night i am coerced out of my comfy bed (because i have no energy to do anything, remember?) i moan and complain. but after 6 hours of work i make enough money for groceries, and a third of my weekly pay. funny, right?
not so much. forget this life of living to work. i have no balance, because everything is always unstable. i want a stable, lovely life. and i get…well i get. chaos.
so with the encouragement of a certain young lady thing. i have decided to do something about this. though in efforts not to jinx myself. my plan is a self contained small electric gun powder and fireworks kind of thing.
through osmosis and bio-feedback, and some voice lessons to boot: i have started to sing. really sing. one lady heard me. tonight. and we will conquer the rock n roll world. someday.
i need an ionic breeze. an air filter and lap top would be handy. then i could inhale something other than that sexy carbon monoxide smog blowing freely through my building since our main mode of air movement comes from some 20,000 cars running past our windows every single day.
ah well. i tried. see? i now have to nap. dirty hair. my dirty hair. but i had four hours sleep. and an empanada. and a friend to hang out with. and some coffee and good times.
my friends. love ’em. to bits. thanks, kids.
i’m done. off to bed. uh huh.
