swashbuckling in shadows..drinkin in the sun
mark is sleeping in my bed. I don’t know where I am sleeping yet. The living room will be too full of people to comfortably sleep there.
I have always been able to maintain control. situations. things. we have a really smashing answering machine message right now. Of course my mother calls and remarks in her own charming message, “deanna, that was the dumbest message I have ever heard”. She likes to gloat like that. Francis was very disturbed by it and even further understood my mother’s innate way of squelching all creative activities and ideas with so little effort. Francis is sleeping right now, mumbling some shit about my keystrokes sounding like music. I love Francis. She fucking rocks.
I dreamt, daydream like about muddy oily spots in water. Like residual bubbled dreams. Wondered if. Wandered in. I think so much about all these gigantic mountainous obstacles in my way to a greater peace. Francis and I went to the anarchist circus today. They wanted her to speak. Instead the highlight was watching mark fill up water balloons off of a busted fire hydrant for a bunch of squealing girls. He looked happy, glasses barely perched on the end of his nose, water dripping off his head arms. They laughed at him, and he had fun assisting in their balloon wars. The festival/circus was a block party of sorts. streets closed off. No food but the food off a barbeque. I wondered how funny a bunch of anarchist rich white kids looked in the midst of a busted ghetto festival. But it was fun. And I think about my suburban white childhood. And how I had it so good. And how, at the age of 25, I have so much of the world to see. The problem with these anarchist groups is that they target an online web community and people who have the interest and money to procure books. Francis and I were going to do a zine. I am encouraged now to do so. Make it free. Mark and I talked about how the only way to get a circus together that represented the true anarchist instead of the reformed white son or daughter of a rich republican who decided to deject themselves from a comfortable adulthood would be to target travelling bands of homeless people. Anarchists don’t usually have any beliefs in internet communities and certainly not usually access to computers and the internet in vast numbers…so how do you get legit examples. You get them off the street. We also talked about how uncommunity-minded people are. How people with nothing never travel in groups. How gypsy like the world used to be. How much I want a home near that ghetto block near 135th street in the Bronx. Diversity. Culture. Certainly more good to do in a community like that than 95% of overpriveleged nyc and surrounding burroughs.
Anyhow. Here is a photo from the photo shoot I had on Friday afternoon.
:heart
