so yea that thing…the thing that will likely get me disowned…DENVER 2003
My grandfather disowned one of his sons and brothers because of some bullshit I never quite understood (being that I was 10 at the time)…So it’s not like it’s so out of family tradition to do so..I was threatened at 19 because I wanted to take a fucking bus to give a drawing that I drew for my ex-boyfriend for Valentine’s day after I had heart surgery…Needless to say, I did go, and fucking whatever, I had to..
My birth mother has offered to help me go to school in DENVER (being that I believe she and her husband have appartment buildings) and asked me if I would mind working part-time..haha..How funny is that considering I worked full-time, went to art school, and got the help of a hundred something dollars in supplies from my mom? I feel as though, at 25, my time is limited, the fucking off period needs to end, and even if I still act like a kid, I should at least be producing with my time…Christ though, NYC is a place I can’t really see myself without for too long (yay for plane tickets and good friends)..and she really wants me to go in January…
January is around the corner…That would mean slamming my body with tattoo work I have been putting off for 7 years, to actually at least attempt to finish something…eeeeekkkkkk..I’ve been bopping around iam pages to see if there is anyone else except miss pollyprissypants rocking out there…Who knows..I haven’t lived there (colorado) since I was 12, and I miss it, yes…but 4 years? My birth- mother(let’s call her barbara) is really dying to make up for lost time, and I believe feels like she made this massive mistake by giving me up..so I guess she’s trying to start me off right on a good life, something that my parents have manipulated and fucked me with for the last 7 years..My little sister is graduating in a week with a tuition bill that quintupled mine for my petty state school attempt per year-meaning mine was 6000 something a year and hers was like 30 gs (and I got into B.U. for christ’s sake)…and is returning next year for a masters, again with my parents support…AND I have to go have dinner with my family and my grandma (visiting from colorado) and have them look down on me and look at me blankly as the slick bartending loser sister who didn’t go to school…first off, it was heart surgery that delayed me (two 5 months after I graduated and another in March of 98)…How does one get the shit end of the stick like this? Well, go get tattooed and pierced to shit, come home and have your mom be embarassed to hang out with you (and actually refuse to go out in public with you), leave the house as soon as you are physically able, and basically fuck off the family unit by moving away to do something with yourself..
This is not some bitchass feel bad for me crap..I feel as if I am trapped and don’t want anyone to be more of a hater than they are already…I forgave my parents already a long time ago..petty grievences are not my style…but I will state the facts, and they generally have been highly unsupportive (to put it lightly) of any and all of my endeavors..
Oh, pee ess..I’m goin to the rocky mountain school of art and design (provided I get in) for 3 d animation with a minor in illustration (for tattooing)..or possibly illustration and painting…Learning is a needed process so I am excited to be travelling down that path again…
oh the disowning thing..the whole point of it all I missed in my explanation of what was happening…anyhow, my mother is a very jealous creature..so jealous that if I were homeless and someone gave me a box to live in she would probably say how dare they, all the while never even thinking about buying me my own box…ahahah…but who said she owes me a box..Dare I even attempt to ask for my own box?…fuck no.When I asked about school, she said, no…When I went to school it was through the help of my two best friend’s moms..one who gave me a car to drive with and book money and the other who gave me book money…and she still hasn’t forgiven them or me for any of it…
