because life is a party

That never ends. This is my most recent life excitement: E is lovely my puppy is lovely I am generally lovely. Lovely in that everyone has smiles and wags of the tail and make life actually enjoyable. If I didn’t have my puppy or him right now, I think I would probably take a high dive into the deep end of misery.

The non-exciting events in my life of course involve my health and all of its wonder. I love my health, no really I don’t. People have said to me for years “but you are so pretty and tall and skinny”. And to the average person this is something unattainable, something they would aspire to, to be different than the average. But, like most things in life, everything comes at a price. For my tallness I enjoy Marfan’s Syndrome. A party in a box of a disease complete with sparklers and heart problems, feet of scars, scoliosis, pain and medication for life. Accompanying the party in the box is also a lifetime of surgeries, completed on average once every 12 years. And the special bonus prize that I have earned by being such a great member and consumer of doctor’s services: hip problems and pain that is hard to describe. My new friend, the yet unmet Doctor Orthopedic is going to be helping me determine the course of action tomorrow when he looks at my special bonus prize hip. According to yet another brand new doctor of family medicine and pediatrics for me, Dr. Williams, cartilage doesn’t regenerate for some absurd reason. So I might have to have it pulled out and reset with a new metallic ball and peen kind of contraption. Then I will really set off the metal detectors in the airport, something I have avoided even with the metal aortic valve. Anyways, it’s good to now have all of my doctors situated within the same hospital. I now have 6 doctors plus 2 surgeons I keep in business. Anyways, the hip thing is kind of absurd but the pain I described seemed to be in line with a connective tissue disintegration, more aggravated by the fact that my hips are offset by the scoliosis anyways. But yes, Mr. Orthopedic doctor friend is going to be taking a look at my spine and hopefully not recommending I go through spinal fusion surgery. Every MRI I have seen the statements on says there is serious lumbar deterioration, so it’s not out of the question. Though the hips and spine being connected and all–one affects the other and vice-versa.

And on top of this, I also have an INR level of 10 which means my blood is five times thinner than it should normally be even with my heart valve. Which makes it probably 20 times thinner than your own. Which means I cannot trip and fall but explains the bruising I got on my finger from putting a ponytail holder in my hair, and the tennis ball sized bruise I got from putting my purse on my lap last week. I had a sinus infection that wouldn’t let me sleep the pressure was so bad. So the doctor, my cardiologist, called me in an anti-biotic that thinned my blood along with the coumadin. So now I am a mess and stuffing swiss chard and all kinds of nasty green vegetables in my body in efforts to avoid l’hopital, my least favorite destination of them all.

In other news, Urban Outfitters won’t hire me because I was honest on my Reade test about two quittings and firings. Amazing, but true. Though I do have a new job in Greenpoint bartending at a new hotspot and a few things in the works, hopefully that will make me lots of cash to start paying off these hospital bills and fixing le credit, so I can have nice things one day. Alright, now the pain is bad and in my ankles from stiffening up this leg to avoid pressure on it. Gotta go. Fight the good fight. Uh-huh.

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