Dream see quences
My imagination is over-active, and this is the most apparent in my sleep state (very close to the waking point).
I have had dreams of violence, murder, mayhem, and just death since I was no less than 5. When I was that young I was usually getting eaten by tigers, lions, or whatever creature came up in my mind, I was falling off cliffs almost every night, and I was often in situations where I would be shot at, and the insinuation was that I was dead. I watched these things happen to me from various points; both in my own perspective, and the perspective of others I might be representing.
I developed an aptitude to fly away, an ability I lost after I told someone about it for about 6 months many years back, but a talent I still hold. I can just want it, lift up and fly off, not in some obscene flap your wings kind of way, but in a very peaceful weightless action.
I think the basis of my horror in my dreams as a child were the recurring dreams: one being my mother and sister constantly leaving me at the grocery store and driving away. There were many many patterns of dreams but the swamp thing one is a bit too personal to recount at this minute. The second one was a dream about big bird’s nest. Oh yes, big bird’s nest. I would wake up in the middle of the night and go to my parents’ room, thinking something was amiss. Unfortunately, when I got there, there was nothing but big bird’s nest in their room. This was the case with my sister’s room, my brother’s room, everywhere a person slept was a big wrangled nest at the foot of the bed. I ran out the door to my neighbor’s house, and it was the case EVERYWHERE. There were no people, just nests in every room, with no trace of life. One time I “woke up” and walked outside to see the devil fire roasting my best friend, skewered like a shish-ka-bob.
I was all of 8 years old.
Now the dreams I have are a bit more complicated in their horror, but the terror is all the same. I know inside the dreams that they are not real, which makes it easier to deal, but I am often in a very advanced time period (the future, who knows) and everything is simpler, yet so much more complicated. Usually it involves someone or some thing hunting me, and I have something that I am carrying around, or protecting. Last night’s was across some grassy, beachy plains…a place I have never been.
On occasion I am struck by that irritating deja-vu sense while doing normal stuff, when someone or some incident reminds me of a piece of a dream. I have grown irritated and cried, not quite being able to place the parts, the methods, or the characters, but there is a flicker of memory of the dream.
I used to think that if I could figure out what they meant that I could save the world.
Now I know it’s just an effort to save myself.
