ughhhhh: tomorrow I am split open like a turkey

Today has been hard. I have cried and joked with the nurses. Many of them tell me I have a great attitude, and I am still me in that I am trying to keep things jovial. People come in and ask how I am and I say "having the time of my life CLEARLY" or "living the dream" which is my favorite sarcastic response.

BY THE WAY--my preparation was on point. They asked if they could shave my groin, I said, "no need!" I also told them I waxed my arms which did make it easier though I am still a hard poke. They all are talking wonderfully about the surgeon so I am sure he is beyond qualified. Also the goggles--the techs mentioned they had never seen that and they were grateful. The filter people are jealous of and I was told to get it out of here tonight--I do have it tagged if someone did steal it but I should be alone in my own room tomorrow and people should respect my need to have masks on. I did tell D to not let anyone be my roommate without that thing on. I do not trust ...